10/27/2006
enough of all this. i'm not gonna post no more. toodles! i was fun bloggin for those months. i wont delete this blog cuz it holds to many memories. so. well. yeah. toodles!

10/26/2006

i woke up so early today that my head's spinning. well. it's not early for a sku day but for a HOLIDAY, it's super duper uber early! yes! holidays! thanks for coming! hah. madness. i'm just staying home. slacking. eating. sleeping. watchin TV. aint gonna go out much during the hols. strangely, i'd like to keep my sis 'company'. hah. i like her. (=

i'm gonna haf a sleepover. heheh.. with my sister!! AKAKAKAKA!! aint that the funniest thing you've heard? i'm weird. i know. and totally psycho too. hah. whatever, i know. i know. i'm super duper uber lame too.

so well. i had the freakiest and most realistic dream EVER. this guy, was like. my boyfren. he was totally nice in this dream of mine luhs. so sweet, endearing and sensitive lor. i say realistic cuz when i woke up i was like.. where's my boyfren? (i said that cuz i can be very blurr when i just wake up) den after like.. 10 seonds. i'm like. hey. it was a dream! ahahaha... but he was SUPER DUPER UBER NICE!! if he were like that and he was my boyfren,i'd be like WOW. lucky hor? hahaha. too bad, he's neither. but he was my dream guy. yeah. i'm weird. haha. i dream about crappy stuff too. plus, he's hot! ohkay, i'll shut up. xD

lets just say i dont like what you're doing but i dont wanna offend you cuz you're my fren. i wont start my "ooh. others dont like it either." thing cuz they'll never agree. liars. ohkay, nevermind. not the point. you stole what i had. i was unhappy but i fucking didnt say anything like what you did. i accepted it. you? when the same was done to you. omg. complain. very unhappy.. blah blah blah. if playing on other people's sympathy can get you back on the job, yo've done really well. congrats, dudu. you did it. so well. i aint doin anything not because i dont want to. but i cant do anything cuz there's nothing i can do. it's my opinion but what you're planning aint what i like. we wanna cultivate _____, right? so why we doin this? it's just wastin everything we have around us!! damnit luhs.

fine. i maybe skeptical, whatever. maybe it's just me. i hope it's just me. coz i dont wanna talk to you no more..shit. oh man. i didnt collect my glasses!! urgh! i ahve so dang much to do today! ass la kim! so kukul. forget your reebok glasses... *num num num*

it's the last day of school for year 2006 and the day of student councillor results. i.. got in. but i didnt make it to functions. why would i join if i'm not in functions? use your brain! i'm NOT IN THE LEAST DISIPLINED, YOU FOOL!! fine. so i wanted to be in council so much that i lied during the interview. i didnt mean a damn thing. i just wanted this so much that i answered all fake shit. i didnt mean all the crap i said. man. i hate myself. )= why'd i lie?! UGH!!! now its too late to do anythin. i hate myself more. sighh..

so much to blog. but i really dont have much of the mood to do so.. sigh. glad the hols have started. i dont really wanna face anyone. just the four walls of my home. yeah. thats just it. bye, i guess. bye.

PS-i fucking hate people pushin me to do stuff i hate. HATE.

10/25/2006

the inter class game was today. i almost forgot. lols. so well. we lost to one praise girls. and guys. (our class boys lost to them too.) man, saying that reminds me that one joy 2006, is a loser class. seriously, my class is not outstanding at all. it's like. the background? whatever. i'm sorry guys. that i blamed you for our loss. guess i was too tired of losing and so excited about winning that.. well, i forgot it was just a game. )= i should shut up and everything, huh? yeah well. i hope one praise wins. the girls, i mean. they're nice. =DD

today's CCA day became inter-class day. didnt audition for SYF. dang i hope i'll be given a part.. stupid floorball...opps sorry. preoccupied bout winnin and all. but CRAP! i'm tired of one faith winnin! it's just like. !W#$#$% ya know? heh... nevermind. SHUT UP again, kim. shut up.

there are many real things i'd like to say. too bad it's a blog. dont recommend writing. its just something i DONT do. if you're here just to read/understand what i think of you..or what's up with "kim's attitude" and all, please. go away. there's nothing i detest more than people like you. dont you have the courage to ask me? i dont like you and i show it. well, unless it's for my master plan. yeah. i know you're reading this, hacker. i know it too well. infact, i knew you were doing this many months back. what you said/thought/wrote about me. i know it. i aint stupid,yo. this is my way of letting you know that i know. slow? nah. its just now that i realise i should do this. i know the person who toldcha too. dont think everyone likes you. (our group) they dont like you but they dont show it. sorry, thats just me. but. to prevent anyone from saying that the class actually doesnt like me..(i wonder how they got this perception? prolly in denial and all. so well..) i'll just say it. i dont like you. i did. i thought others were wrong about you, but i guess i was wrong. infact, i'll say it again. i hate you. i really do.

ah. glad i said that. it's so fun!! (= got back our report books today. going to sec 2 express. lousy percentage. i'm gonna work harder, promise. gonna get a 65% next time. i'll listen in class and partaye like mad. i hope that works.. well. it oughta. i wonder who i'll get to sign my report book since my momma's in taiwan now till 31st or so.. ugh. do i have a choice?

i'm glas the chalet situation was salvaged. thanks to mallory. (= go go go mallory! hah. i shouldnt be doin anything. she's doing a dang good job, yeah. so well. go valerie! i can let you do the whole thang! (= yay! more free time!! ahaha. sorry. xD

so well.. i got caught in the rain. came home dripping wet. seriously. i walked around the house and it seemed like it just got mopped. (: lols. it's the monsoon season again. bye bye hot weather. hello rainy wet days. (=

i wanted to creat another blog.. but i guess i'm too lazy. another time, i guess.. another time. this guy knows every girl in school. he's weird. i dont know why i just said it. but.. well. LOLS. i'm lame.

tommorrow's the last day of sku. so dang fast. i really cant believe it. i dont know if i'll miss everyone, but.. oh..y'know what i mean. :] so yea. some months ++ i'll be standing outside the sku.. thinking about the memories i had. and maybe. just maybe.. i'd wish i could continue studying in KCPSS. lols.

10/23/2006

i need a guys perspective on this. is it me.. or is it me being skeptical? ugh. it just bugged me so much. troubling me. disturbing me. no peace of mind. i coulnt even shake it off as i usually could. just it's bigger than.. expected? snowballing, i guess.

well, what does she expect me to do? so, i made a mistake by vocalising it. oh sure.. blame ME. wow. this is great isnt it? i aint perfect, i make mistakes. SO?! like you dont. ugh. then again, i guess she has every right not to accept my apology. big newsflash? i dont like you! but. i gotta forgive you! so? why cant you do the same? it's super annoying lor. make it seem like everyone's with you. rrright. please. stop talking crap. we all know who's lyin and who's not in this matter.
but. say what you must, i dont really care. i just wish the hols would come faster. i hate this...why pretend when it's not true? why live in denial?

there's big news. but.. since CERTAIN people are gonna view my bloggie, i'll shutup. when it's announced on wed, you'll know. heh. man, take over my space, do my job, say what i was going to,steal my ideas, and whatever crap that I do. it's MY job. NOT yours! get that into your head and stop thinking i'm joking with you. cuz i'm not. take me seriously, luh.

well, talkin about being taken seriously, i'm tired of being the crazy one. i wanna extend other qualities a student councillor in functions should have. being influential, outgoing, creative, friendly, calm, less hot headed...and uh. what else? darnit. i dont know. but well. yea. listen up. i wanna be taken seriously. i wont be as crazy as before. cos i'm tired of repeating myself cos people think i'm joking when i'm really NOT. well, there you have it. i said it. i'll tryta keep my word. so, yeah.

strangely, i like my sister now. (= i dont know why. misunderstood, i guess. as usual. man, miscommunications stink. a lot. obviously lorr. she's super duper uber nice if you're just.. nice to her, and super duper uber not nice when you're just a lil not nice to her. just that i've seen the other side of her. and i like it. =DD

seriously, i find it super duper uber hard to believe what she said. it's just. unbelievable. but i guess i should play along, huh? or maybe i should do my research. i guess i should. so well. i'ma go bet who'll win for ANTM. america's next top model. do'uh.

nathaniel chua likes chickens. lols. he saw my DP with an ikea chicken. said it was his fav toy last time. lol. today was the councillor interview. alright. cept sitting nexta to vick LIM makes me super nervous! well. lemme explain. i was sitting next to shalin and ezra at first. then vick LIM moved next to me when shalin moved to duckie. i was feeling alright. a little nervous. but still confident. so vick LIM moved next to me. her extreme nervous-ness made me. super duper uber nervous! so when it was my turn, i forgot everythin i was supposed to say! but well, end? still positive, (= thankfully.

so well. another short post. too lazy to bother. tomorrow's a holiday! yay! maybe i'll blog another paragraph or so.

i really pity her. she's like. ugh. unliked. and i wonder why she asks people if they like her? oh sure. like they will say "omg. i hate you lor." uh huh. well, some will. but one joy people? no. they'd rather lie. why'd they wanna lie to themselves and her? and of course, to someone else, they'd sya "omg. she sucks. blah blah blah." it's puzzling, really. deceitful. but i like that. hah. shows they have brains that think. fortunately. sorry, i feel really pissed.

today was fine. CCA(drama) day or something. had fun all the way. go drama! if any girl wants to join drama, please know that the esplanade girls will getcha. in the worst way possible. toodles!

oh wait. one thing i'd like to add, there are many miscommunications going on, yeah?

10/22/2006

i changed back the skin. guess it wasnt THAT fabby. i had a fun day. shopping. i had my hair cut. a GREAT lunch. well. skipped church today. lols. overslept. slept at 5 plus yesterday. ugh. ate at crystal jade. 66 bucks. ahah. but it was really really GOOD! (= ...i look VERY different. funkaye. short. cant tie. ugh. when the gal was cutting my hair, i was like. omg. why so much hair on the floor?! i wanted to jump up and ask "WTF ARE YOU DOIN?!" my fringe is weird. i dont like it.

lols. stupid benji aint answering my call. ass. hah. kidding. silly guy. over protective parents. ugh.

wonder what i should blog now. i'm so ugh-ed out. good luck to everyone for the interview!! rock on!! i know. whatever. some other time.

10/20/2006

ahahaah i found this really fab skin. loves! we had so much yesterday, huh? chris, me, benji and nat chua talking like crazy. loves as frens!! yakking and yakking like we knew each other for 5 years. fine. i'm exxagerating. i just love my class so muchy!! ah well.

my momma made bacon and eggs for breakfast today. first time in a super duper uber long time since i had breakfast. dang she woke us up at 8.45am to pack our room. and she lectured us, cleaned the fridge instead of preparin breakfast. sigh. see? my momma's so dang annoying. i wonder if she'll even allow me to go for the chalet...

ah well.

hi dudu! i dont know why but i feel super duper uber happy! aahahha!! hyper,enthu and psycho. lols. i ponned swimmin again today. sat at bus stops.. walked around from toa payoh and bishan. ugh. good excercise. i guess i just didnt wan to go swimming. a fish who's outta water may grow and adapt to it's surroundings and may not wanna go back. oh crap. whats with me? man! i'm psycho lah..

i'm having a ball of fun talking to a million people. my fingers are aching. lols. ohkay. 12. fine. HUGE difference.. cool! ngai hon's on youtube!! ahahaha! go youtube and search. type in kcpss.
mee siam mai ham. funny. lols. it takes a while to load though.

yea. i'm talking to him. he's like my mom. naggin me and all. here's our convo!

saintcaleb says:
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
hey
saintcaleb says:
how are you results??
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
sucking
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
so embarassing )=
saintcaleb says:
ooooooo
saintcaleb says:
that bad
saintcaleb says:
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
yea
saintcaleb says:
i'll pray for you
saintcaleb says:
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
but considering that i stuDied only the night before and i wasnt listenign in class for the whole year, i think i did well. (=
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
aww. thanks so sweet
saintcaleb says:
haha
saintcaleb says:
well you should study you know
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
sec one is a relaxed year, sec 2's a work hard year, sec 3's a play and study hard year, and sec 4 is a CHIONG YEAR
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
i follow this so i can play a lot more. i'm so lame. i know
saintcaleb says:
`
saintcaleb says:
it not true you know
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
really? why?
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
hey.. you look so cute in the picture
saintcaleb says:
theres gna be alot of stuff to learn in sec2 since you screwed you sec1
saintcaleb says:
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
by my class standards, i did well. by my (really HIGH EXPECTATION STANDARD) folk's standard, i sucked.
saintcaleb says:
yupp
saintcaleb says:
its always like that
saintcaleb says:
well you gotta study still
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
sigh. get 47 over 50 isnt that bad right?
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
i know. but man. i cant keep still
saintcaleb says:
if there's a will there's a way
saintcaleb says:
lol
saintcaleb says:
hey where do you wanna go after your olevel?
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
wow. you sound so..much like my mom.
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
(no offense)
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
cool.
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
i'll be in australia then, so i guess it wouldnt matter..
saintcaleb says:
lol
saintcaleb says:
its ok
saintcaleb says:
well australia's good...
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
in a way, yes.
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
it'll be much more laxxxxxxxxx
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
yay1
saintcaleb says:
sufer boys and billabong
saintcaleb says:
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
haha yea..
saintcaleb says:
and salmon
saintcaleb says:
and movie world
saintcaleb says:
and hot girls
saintcaleb says:
lol
saintcaleb says:
and sea worls
saintcaleb says:
*world
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
you'd like the hot girls part, wouldnt you?
saintcaleb says:
lol
saintcaleb says:
yeap
saintcaleb says:
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
ahaha
saintcaleb says:
i went to down under once with me friends
saintcaleb says:
boy! was it havoc
saintcaleb says:
lol
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
haha
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
and you enjoyed yourself?
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
(i bet)
saintcaleb says:
duh
saintcaleb says:
the partying was a blast
saintcaleb says:
lol
saintcaleb says:
have you been partying before??
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
haha
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
once
saintcaleb says:
lol
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
and i have no comment
saintcaleb says:
where?
saintcaleb says:
which club?
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
in australia
saintcaleb says:
ooooooooooooo...
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
i wish i didnt go
saintcaleb says:
bad music though
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
i agree
saintcaleb says:
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
no taste
saintcaleb says:
lol
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
well. for me
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
my frens liked it
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
i hated it
saintcaleb says:
i think you just went on the wrong night
saintcaleb says:
lol
saintcaleb says:
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
ohkay..
saintcaleb says:
saintcaleb says:
loloololool
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. writes:
saintcaleb says:
olol
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. writes:
saintcaleb says:
heh
saintcaleb says:
its the screen la
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
nah. i think it's mine..
saintcaleb says:
lol
saintcaleb says:
bad writing leads to bad marks
saintcaleb says:
lol
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
hi mom
saintcaleb says:
lol
saintcaleb says:
sorry
saintcaleb says:
i cant help it
saintcaleb says:
being senior and all
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
i shall count the number of s you've typed..
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
hehe..
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
i understand.
saintcaleb says:
saintcaleb says:
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
cool you said like 23 s
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
god. i'm lame.
saintcaleb says:
lol
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
24
saintcaleb says:
haha
saintcaleb says:
oh im on youtube
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
better than father god
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
really?
saintcaleb says:
got a moment?
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
under what?
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
saintcaleb says:
check out kcpss
saintcaleb says:
mee siam mai ham
saintcaleb says:
i think
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
ohkya
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
dam. it's taking so long to load
saintcaleb says:
loloololool
saintcaleb says:
found it??
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
not yet
' &kimmaye;; it'll never be the same. says:
stupid computer. laggy
saintcaleb says:
lol


nvm. i'll put it here, for easy viewing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTvWj75C_BI see? i'm so nice. it's freaking funny lorrs! he's crazy!!

ahaha. nvm. i'll go. bye!! (= loves!



p:s- am i old? am i innocent?

dont know what to blog. all the crap that i blogged's all gone. again. but it's not internet prob again. page not found? wtf.. i should continue but make it a shorter one. it just dawned on me that i havent liked anyone for like. sometime already..and i only thought of it now.. lols. so people, if you ask me, i'm REALLY not lying!! so get over it.

i got caught in the heaviest part of the rain this morning.. the 7.10 one. omg. i was runnin and running like crazy. soaking, dripping wet lah.. and every step i took, squish. squish, squish. water. going in, coming. lols. it was super duper uber unconfortable. so eve and i skipped about 45 minutes and went to the toilet to dry our stuff. (hair, bags, shoes, socks, shirt and skirt.) it was quite fun actually. missing class and everything. walking in our shoes without socks was.. interesting. been a while since i last did that. (= hahas. went back to class and we had to plan stuff and combine all of it for time capsule. we were goofing so much lahs! (vickaye LIM the super smart girl, xue xue the dudu and wan yee the 'obiedient'.) i drew new uniforms for the future part. lame. looked a lil weird. but it's.. acceptable. i'd wear it. wan yee said it looked more like what you'd wear outside. well duh. you wear your sku uniform outside your house right? DUH lah. we were also supposed to design walls or somethin for our assigned class type. my group's was english and literature. we wrote some phrases or something by authors really.. nicely. we played so much. as usual, cant finish on time. =DD hahah..

i went with vickaye LIM and wan yee for lunch cos a certain SOMEBODY WAS WITH ANOTHER SOMEBODY. *hint hint* and the first SOMEBODY broke cos she's *ahem* cheapskate!! lols. went to S11 to eat. i had pancake with crabstick, eggs and cheese. the second bite onwards made me full. lols. so i ended up playing with my food and grossing them out with all my crazy antics. sorry. hehe.. we went to library to chill. man! we had so much fun! laughing and yakking like crazy till people were SO staring at us. especially me.... -_-" so wells. yeah..

and mirah, i didnt forget, i'm so sorry i couldnt meet you. )= happy birthday, girl!! 13 years old!! woopeee!! (= loves!!

fish soup there's councillor interview on monday!! omgggggggggg! i'm so UGHed out, man. good luck to everyone!! jia yous!! you know you can do it!

i always thought my class sucked. actually, misunderstood is the word. gals? fine and dandy,with most of them. (ohkay, i do NOT want lennel to go for class chalet!!) guys? interacting with most of them nowadays made me realise they are a fine bunch. (i dont like them at all in "that" way.) gems in all of them.. i'm so glad i'm in one joy and not anywhere else. we seem un-united but we care so much for each other. LOVES!!

i guess i should go. swimming time. (unfortunately) all i'm left to say is..

ICE CREAM FACTORY!!

and.

STOP. DROP. ROLL.

10/19/2006

this one's for you, xue ying. coz you love it as much as i do. (= cheers! you know it means a lil somethin somethin.

Oh, Oh
I'm not missing you
Been through just about everything that I could go through
When it comes to relationships
Don't know what I was missing or why I ain't listen
When I told myself that was it
Now here I go, hurt again
Cause of my curiousity
Now that it's over
What else could it be besides a cheat

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn't I keep it?
Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

CHORUS
(But) I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
But this time it's different
I don't even feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you

It's a shame in a way cause
I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me
Did I leave him, is he right in front of my face oh
Will my true love ever be?
Why would I go on a search again
When I know what the end will be
What good is love when it keeps on hurting me?

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn't I keep it?
Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

Chorus x 2

No I can't be with you
Cause I'm scared felt like I was falling when you left me
I can't keep going through life
Unaware of what I missed
And the person I could be
Love's good when it's right
And when it's left in your memory
All the times I let you down
I guess love will be nice for someone else's life

(But) I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone (I used to hate it)
Oh different, oh feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you


I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me (knockin' at my door)
You might have had me open
But I must be going because (it's the best day of my life)
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
Oh different, feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you I'm not missing you (oh baby)
I'm not missing you
I'm so over you
It ain't even a problem


hey, you should try mixing barley and carrot, apple and orange juice. it'a NICE!! but barley must put 62% of the total. and the rest equal portions. it's nice y'know. (= haha. 'cooking' with kimmaye'

10/18/2006

today, we went to the science centre. oh boy. there were SWARMS of people there. it was all, like. BAM. BAM. BAM. everywhere you go, you'll pretty much end up bumping others. ouch. we went there for something like a race to fill up these stupid sheets of paper. ugh. we slacked. i didnt even touch the dang paper. hah i did no work whatsoever. sorry guys. xD

the bus journey was fun! especially the going trip, cuz everyone was fighting for the back seats. we had to step and climb chairs to get the back seats away from the guys who blocked our way and everything. eventually, we won. (=

the whole day was spent.. well. briefin about some crap and being at the science centre. man. she keeps following us. why wont she take the MANY hints thrown at her to leave ALL of us alone? poor victoria and XY. man, they're too nice. why dont you just say you dont like her so she'll leave you alone? and instead of giving her sarcastic answers (becos she'll just CONTINUE sticking to you) ignore her. and wan yee, please! dont tell me to help you or sms to say "she's following me!" i know. you gotta tell her straight in the face you freakin dont like her! she's dumb. doesnt get all those hints. hah! nerd? YAH. she's fucking hacker. ass.

tomorrow, we'll be in school. doing some time capsule thingy. i dont know why they think we're stupid or something. ALL OF US KNOW WHAT A TIME CAPSULE IS!! you dont have to keep telling us! oh man! and we HAVE to do some stupid topic. instead of putting something that reflects and our personality, we have to put stuff about our school-the past, present and future. sigh. why must they be so freaking LAME? losers. ah well.

the planning of the class outing's fine. it's the people. freak them!! ahahah. over-protective parents alert!! annoying!!

i saw a lil ball of fur, about 5 months, today.. just sitting outside my door. that kitty's cute.. but. CHEETA's better!! the kitty was white, with a lil bit of black and brow. quite cute. (= and guys, dont mention cheeta. but if you do, change the subject instead of tryna cover it up. it hurts less that way. victoria? shut up. dont crap about my cat or my shoe'll be flying in your face even though you're my fren.

whatever. i feel offensive today. mind me. i'm just glad to be able to be promoted to sec 2 EXPRESS!! =D

guess i had a pretty good day.. considering the odds. we're having new uniforms! dri fit! no need to tuck in! wow. we had a super duper uber long boring talk by our principal today. urgh. so assy. my butt and legs were aching like crazy. we sat there for at least an hour, hearing him yak and yak. loser.

so well. during class, i was during preps for the class outing. and when people challenge me, i get real pissed. its like. i'm doing ym freaking best and people can be all like they think i'm not doing a good job so they must check and everything. so i was like gonna start explaining then. oh fuck. let THEM do the planning. they think its easy talkin to a super duper uber ass-ed class thats uncooperative and totally un-enthu? fine. i let them go ahead. hah. they were worse than me. all 3 of them. so i'm back again. planning the class outing. (= i dont care if you like it or not. its a class outing. and people, i cant suit 40 people's needs. so shut up and listen to me. they didnt like the feeling they got either-being told no by their own frens. i hope you wont do that to me again, XY and vic. it's dang unsupportive, yo.

ahaha. i'm not that angry. just. UGHed out. another butt and leg breakin experience today. watched a stupid french movie. choir boys or something like that. i wasnt even watching it. just playing. (=

i had too much to eat for lunch. *burp* brownie, ice cream, about 20 pieces of potato wedges and 1 chicken chunk. ugh. FULL. guess where we went for lunch? cafe galilee. in the library. lols. xy wanted to go there. we ended up spending more time than expected. but we had fun =D

i guess i'd better post in the class blog. the details and all. so bye. and tag!

10/17/2006

i miss him most (ESPECIALLY) in the mornings, nights, when i come home, and when i leave. i'll just feel this hopeless crap in me. feeling all weak and ughy inside. weird descriptions. yes, i know. i thought so something, but i forgot. let's just make do with that, huh? i guess i miss him in the mornings cuz when i wake up and come outta my room, he's usually there, meowing like crazy, and he'd rub his head against you and all. and just before i go to sleep, (thats usually the time i think most in the whole day.) i'd lie staring at the ceiling and remember how it would be so nice and cosy with him beside me every night.. sitting on my tummy, and ooh. it'd be warm. you kinda get a warm, fuzzy feeling inside you. its just really nice.. but for the last few nights, i'd stare at the empty space he used to occupy. and i'd miss his melodic purr. and i would miss the times i come back home and he'd greet me at the door. or even the times when he'd be sleeping on the couch. but for the last few days, i'd look at the couch.. and there'd be nothing. no cheeta. nothing. at least i'm not in denial, right? i know he's gone forever. man. i wish i didnt say that. ugh.


psychedelico... i keep saying that word today. dont even know what it means. -_-" i'm super lame. some mental state, maybe? i dont know what to blog. so. i'll just talk bout my day i guess. went to some tuas incineration plant or something. i cant remember, too busy talkin. the trip there was realyl short. about 20 min? a video and a 5 min tour. ugh. the bus journey was so dang torturing. hot. stuffy. bumpy. the ride there wasnt that bad. i wodner why. more fun and it didnt seem that long. the way back? hell. i wonder whats so fascinating about watching RUBBISH. who cares? big UGH there!! so well. yeah.

wanted to go to vivo city's tangs for shopping. instead, i went to orchard with sha. i love the earrings, necklace and the bracelet! and sha, you know you owe me money, (= hahah. i had tonsa fun!

i'm tired. bye.

10/16/2006

i'm here to post AGAIN. third time today. i just visited cheeta's death spot. omg, i was like. !!!! then boohooohooooo!! it's so fish soupy. forgive me, whoever's reading this. cheeta's all i can think and talk about now. crazy luh. frigging crazy, ya know.


♥

i love copying from stella's blog. sorry. xD but i agree with everything she's said. 100%. yuppies. so.. here you go!

Camp's over but miss it sooo much. Okay, there's just so much fun. Anyway we did morning excerise with the seniors this morning and it was like so dirty and it made us all looked stupid yeah. Hehe. Played Chickens and Wolf after that and then went for lecture. We miss Coach Joselyn so much lorr, then there comes Coach Barry. Stupid lame coach but Coach Joselyn is better :) Haha. So we played vertical challenge. It was really fun man. Hehe. Yupp..er yes we talked about shared vision and our sec one vision is: LOVE, UNITED AS ONE COHORT and BE INFLUENCIAL. Yup, it was a good sharing and lecture. Didn't really talk about the rest of the lectures. They were impactful and hit me straight man =) This camp really benifited us a lot. As in, even if anyone of us is going to fail the interview, we learnt like really a lot about what it means really to be a leader and lotsa more. I can't thank God enough for placing me in the camp. It was just a blast. Reflected a lot after camp, and during camp about being a councillor. Actually, in the first place when Miss Lim asked me, I didn't really wanted to be a councillor. But I gave her a yes anyway. Then, I was reluctant to go for training camp, it's like, it's just after exams man. I wanna chill. Haha. But the more I came, the more adicted I became to come. It's like filled with excitement. Woah, I guess there's a change and there was so much of things I see differently now. Yupp.

i totally agree. uh huh.

i went home early today. with wan yee, joey, glenda and another girl. forgot her name. xD i dont feel like my usual self no more. even when i was depressed, i could go out and socialise. now? oh man. i came home STRAIGHT after school. never done that before, not even in primary school. i miss him so dang much! i'm well. not mental. for example, you lose someone SO FREAKING CLOSE to you and you're expected to be ohkay with it on the third day? yeah RIGHT. dont tell me you're able to totally be yourself again.

i'm like fragile now. dont disturb me cos when i snap, ugh. hell. so go away. if you really like me, talk to me, (; but.. dont mention pets. i'll cry. i swear.

i dont know how many times i'm gonna blog again today.. but the only thing i haf to say is that..

all i'm left with, are memories.

and

you left me here. stranded.

10/15/2006

great. again, no connection. whole blogged stuff? GONE. ugh ugh ugh. i managed to live through today, monday, without crying infront of anyone. fine. i teared for 2 seconds. so sue me. bearly scathed it, if you ask me. i was so close to breaking.. its like i was balancin on such a thin line that if the wind blew at me, i'd fall. really. i'd cry like crazy. so well. enough talk about crying. everyone's supportive of me now. at this point. thanks, guys. thanks for being there for me. really thankful. (= here are some pictures taken by meof cheeta when he was still.. alive, found on my momma's computer. enjoy. you know he's cute.

















thats him on the grilles. wild streak in him, exposed.














wide eyed. cute, huh?
















ahaha! cute!!















awww. thats him curled up with a chicken. (=


he's so cute. which do you guys think is the cutest? he's just everything to me.. its hard, cheeta. so hard.. his burial service will be held today. pictures will be used instead of his body. which was.. thrown away for fear that he may.. decompose. *cries* enough crying already. i should be strong, yeah? yuppies. (wth is that?!)

got my results today. i hate myself. this is what i get for last night studying. fish soup. i failed everything. well. maybe not. i didnt. but, for fish soup!! i like. deproved? its crazy seeing ym grades drop like wooop. seriously wooop. as in wooop. ahaha, its just that.


i miss you so much, cheeta.. so so much..

united. thats how everyone was at camp. uh huh. everyone was all like helping each other out.. and everyone did a fair share of work. everything. everyone was so enthu and all.. so nice. hah. it's bad enough to haf a class that looks like walking zombies all the time. this experience was really nice. (= i love council. i'm gonna kill to get in!! joking. but i'd give the oppurtunity to haf cheeta back..

we were supposed to have his memorial service today. but i guess i'm still too shaken.. too devastated.. too shattered. so we postponed it. even reading a cook book reminds me of him and makes me cry..looking at chicken recipes reminds me how he didnt like chicken.. and looking at seafood recipes reminds me of how he loved/loves seafood, and how much he ate when there was extra.

i still dont know how he died. my sister checked yahoo ask, and some said that.. well.. either he 1) got hit by a car
or
2)rat poison
since he was found under a bush near a not so busy road, it's a lil unlikely or both. sigh. it's troubling me so much. was he in pain? why didnt he come into the house? i guess i dont want to know. i dont want to know if he was scared when he died.. or whether he was in pain or not. i'd rather lie (or not) to myself that he died.. peacefully. but WHY THE HELL was he found under a freakin bush?! i mean.. did he choose to die there? or did someone move him?

right, i dont want to know. enough questions asked already.. i dont feel like doing anything at all. i dont want to go to school. i dont want to face everyone who knows about his death. i dont want to pretend i'm ohkay. but if i dont, everyone will pay so much attention to me and they wont treat me the same and i'll start crying like hell. i'm not used to people staring at me while i cry ohkay. it's too weird.

i didnt get to say goodbye to him. he just left. like that. i think the last time i actually sat down with him was like on tuesday or so. maybe wednesday.. i want to do that again. rub him, pat him, talk to him.. maybe i'd feel less bad. i always thought we'd be the ones to leave him.. with us going to australia and all. but, he was the one to leave us. i know he'd feel unhappy too. maybe more, cuz he lost 3 of us. i'm not sure if cats have the kind of feelings that we do.. but i'm sure he'd be pretty miserable without us.

he had like 10 more years to live.. and then he.. just.. died. i hate that word. death. death. death. cheeta. dead. gone. forever. i want another cat to replace him!! but i know i'll be fooling myself. i just want one to fill his place. he was the best. i know none can replace him.. but i long for a lil fur ball to hug. and in the morning, i came out of my room, half expecting him to be sleeping on the spare couch. and when he hears me, he'd start meowing so much.. but, nothing. silence. i was staring at the couch with cushions on it.. without cheeta. and at night, i'd go to the toilet, and i wished so much that he'd be waiting outside the door, waiting for a pat or something.. but.. there was no one. i was staring at the floor. the mat. no cheeta. i looked at his bowl today. i just cried. it's hard without him. hard to live without someone so dam important. am i expected to forget him? to pretend i never had a cat? you cant forget something so important. you just cant. no matter how hard you try.. unless you get amnesia or something.

the whole family's depressed. we all loved him so much. my momma's tryna be strong.. i can tell. my sister and i cried ourselves to sleep last night.. and we skipped church. i think i barely slept for 2 and a half hours. the rest were spent thinking. of so much stuff.. she didnt tell me she cried herself to sleep but i could tell. it's just this kind of telepathy that cheeta's death brought us. we kinda understand and know certain things. i guess it's just.. known for a strange reason. questions dont need to be asked, we just know it. the house is so quiet, it's scary. we've just been lazing around. not doing much. god! why'd you take his life so early? at this time? WHY?!

thanks guys. for tryna make me feel better. i really appreciate it. all the smses.. (= i dont know how i'm gonna face the school, my classmates, frens, or enemies on monday. thank god the sec 4Es aint gonna be there, in school. or not supposed to be. tomorrow, my grammy's are gonna be here. i dont know how to act.. to be strong, or to be how i really feel. i really dont. there are certain things that dont need explaining, its just something you know.. or sense. and i can tell cheeta's safe. well, technically, he's dead, and no one can prove if there really is life after death or just go to heaven or hell or anything.. so yeah.

thats it, i guess.

10/14/2006

i dont know how to put this. i'm back from camp.. had such nice memories. made new frens, learnt lotsa stuff, had fun.. and. well, when i came back today.. someone really dear to me.. passed on. he's gone. forever. my cat. cheeta. cheeta's gone. when my momma told me.. i just sat there, curled up and cried. i dont know how long i sat there, but i think i musta been sitting there for at least 45 min cuz the tv was on and there were 3 or 4 advertisements. i remember thinking how sad i was. i was so. shocked. this lil ball of fur..gone. the one that brings me home. the one that follows me around. the one that waits outside the bathroom while i'm in it. the one that lies on my lap. the one that sleeps on thu guest couch. the one that sleeps on the chairs in the living room. the one who would run after me when i went to throw the rubbish, or get the mail. gone. forever. he was missing from thursday.. the day i went for camp. i hadnt seen him all day. i shoulda gone to look for him instead of thinkin i'm tired and everything, afterall, maybe he came in, but we didnt see him. i was too selfish. thinkin of myself instead of him. what if he needed me? was he afraid? was he scared? was he.. tired?

from what i was told, he died on thursday or friday. he was found under a bush near my house. blood from his mouth. no signs of scratches or bruises or anything. he.. just died. i dont know why he died, but.. man. i'm crying so much now. for the first time, i haven't smiled more than twice since 2.30 today. it's about 6.40 now. wow. record breaking. i also havent moved more than twice. i lay on my bed.. crying. i dont know. he changed my life. he made me love in a way i have never loved before. he loved me for who i am. he was there for me when i was down. but now? he was like my best fren. always there for me. (cept when he's out.) we shoulda kept him in the house. too bad he's curious and adventerous. i dont know what to think. i dont know what to say. it's just not the same without my dear, first, cute cat. he was the BEST.


this'll be dedicated to him. in lovin memory of cheeta: you're a king in my eyes. you cheered everyone up just by sitting on their laps, making their seat warm.. and meowing around. you could do so much.. just by being you. everybody adored you. you were so good natured.. even when my sister wrestled with you, you never once scratched or bit her. even when we bathed you, you were scared like shit.. and you even peed on the floor, but you never scratched/bit us. when i made you do the wildcat part of we're all in this together, you only ran away. you were so much of me. you were.. my everything. i'm gonna miss your fur on my clothes.. your meow early in the morning. your greeting when i come home.. your following us around.. everything. i'll miss you so much. all of us will. you'll forever remain in our hearts. remember, cheeta.. all of us cried so much for you. we love you so much. thank you for coming into our lives, letting us have such nice memories. you shall be my wallpaper. (infact, you've been my wallpaper a long time ago, but nvm.) for a long long long long long long long long long long long long long time. if we get another cat, it's just to replace the hole in my heart that you occupied. you were the best!! you ARE the biggest miracle in my life!!

we got you two years ago.. scared lil thing. you were born in may too. just like me. your birthdate was unknown.. so i took it that you were born on the same day as i was. naive? yes. so much.. they found you around a hawker centre. mistreated. abused. we took you in, you were so scared! you hid in the spare room. it took you like two weeks to get used to us. and how we fussed over you. no matter how tired we were, we always took time to sit with him for at least 5 min and talk to him, pat him.. you purred.. meowed...oh cheeta..


you will always remain a part of me. i cant believe you died when you were 2 plus. sighsighsigh. i cant stop thinking about you. what are we gonna do with the cat litter? your two huge big packets of cat food? huh? what are we gonna do with them?! cheetaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!


i dont care what you guys call me. crazy. just becoz your cat died, its not the end of the world. i mean, its just an animal. if you say that, you are not my fren. he's not just a cat. or an animal.. he's.. something. he's everything. if you have a pet, and your pet died, you'd be like me now. or maybe less emo. well. i'm VERY EMOTIONAL ohkays. i cry like crazy when i'm sad. urgh. this issue is super sensitive for me. like.. even looking at the spot he used to sleep makes me cry all over again. fuck. i'm so dam emo now. and on monday? another round of emo-ness. results. i'm going to NA. well. i have this feeling. so strong. bye one joyians. cya next year, in NA.

fish soup. thats how my day's been like. i was so dang fucked up happy at camp.. then now i'm cracked like glass. hah. oh well. i should say something about camp o make myself feel better. i'm copying this from stella's blog and adding stuff. hehe. (cuz she's in my group, functions 1.) begins now. >> Bwahahas. My group's named SuperCrackos. Funny name but I prefer the super loong one by Andrea. Okay, the cheer was good, yes, very good. The seniors created it. Oh yah, did I mention that we had this super nicey coach, Coach Eunice :> Hehe. Yup, had 5 stations and 3 roadblock(however you spell it) Think the super interesting ones were at Coleman's Bridge. Haha..we had make 2 person fr 2 different boats to wave to us and say "I love you". As in they have to say so. So we shouted, "I love you, do you love me?" Okay, funny funny.

here's the pictures stella loaded which i copied. xD sorry.





















youhuai the china town guide (= nice background eh?






















elaine!

















us screamin away!
















nadia and elaine?! where's elaine?!
















oh god. i look retarded. go supercrakos!!


Hhahahaha. Anyway, our group came in first! YAY! Guess we won't really mind if we didn't cos we really had lotsa fun. Haa, we were dumb, we ran back to the starting point becos we thought that group one was coming back but they weren't. HAHA.






















andrea and joyce. yup. thats how tired we were. running all around chinatown with our nice coach, coach eunice.

Back to school: LUNCH, RATED R(A), X-PERIENCE DEBRIEF, LECTURES





















that's coach jocelyn. pretty, eh? she's nice. ^_^
















ahaha! i look retarded again!! us and her! (=


this camp has been really motivating! i loveeeeeee everybody!! man, my eyes are sore from the crying...

10/11/2006

i don't care no more. enemies? fine. i'll take the easy way out. hah! it's better than wasting my time on you, hypocritical liar. i dont care. uh uh. nope. you can pretend with him. gallivant with him in the meadows. pretend you're someone else. I DONT CARE!! i aint gonna bother bout you no more!!



ohkay. now that i've said my piece.. how bout some pictures? (= it's fun, you know. btw, rumor has it is so nice!!


there ya go. knock yourself out. oh phuwee. heck. i'm not gonna upload so many.

man. this is gorgeous.

nice face, huh? thats jade.

ahaha! earrings! xD

nice wet hair. dont know who.

does this look like heidi to you?

sorry. obsessed with this.

i'm in a picture craze. for my blogskin. i'll include these. well. maybe not all. but some. [:





















she's pretty. nice side view, yeah?
















man, i wish i could do that.













nice. um. complexion. (;

















complexity, much? messy's nice!


























go naime! go naime! go naime!
























this would look nice for an art thingy, huh?





















i love her make up and eyes!























does this look like naime?















i dont know where i got this xD












or this either =DD

just yinny is a FABULOUS blogskin designer. http://blogskins.com/me/just-yinny there ya go. you'll be like.. wow? breath takers. you're just like.. blown away by her skins. so my type!! ah wells. i'll have one of her skins one day. (=

woopieeeee!! exams no more, baybeh!! i could dance the night away.. laughing.. with the breeze against my skin.. i could dance in the rain. the droplets dripping down my face.. i could dance with you and you'd hold me tight and you would never let me go. we'd dance the night away. and emerge from that closer than ever. ohkay wth was that? -_-" ahah boredom. it can be a sin. man, my internet got problem again. sighsigh. heh. tomorrow's councillor camp. cant wait!! :) too bad i cant be a councillor, oh ya know.. going to australia and all. hehe. i can leave all the bitches, sluts and assholes. i cant wait!! oh man. i forgot to add. my good fren.. cherilyn. thanks girl. you helped me tons!! loves, yeah? =DD really gonna miss you tons! and amirah! xue ying! shalin! valerie! clara!and many more. i love you guys. gonna miss you so so so so so so so so so so so much!! thanks for all the memories and everything we've had fun and laughed about. ahhhh..i'm blessed. i know. thank you god for giving me so many good frens who love me so. thank you. it's gonna be really hard for me to part with ya'll.

yea. enough. i'll start crying soon.. so well. i went to watch john tucker must die again. well. i didnt exactly watch the whole movie. the last part was uber funny! nah. the whole thing is!! AHHAHAH!! everyone was lol-ing in the theatre like crazy!! the thong part was. !!! oh ya know.. .... ... .. ... (lols again) man. i had cramps due to the movie. sigh sigh jesse's so hot. jason, my grandfather(the fake one) dudu #69, and da dudu are so going down. we've got ideas! yes, we thought of so much stuff. all the thoughts creeping into our heads.. hah. watch out. it's comin atcha. your oh so deserved DESSERTS!!

thank you again cherilyn. coming home with me. you've been doin that so often i feel guilty. xD but it is nice to have great company with me y'know. unlike ... (<<>erm. hello? the obvious solution is to go out and do his work right? DUH. i have never met someone so dumb before! why make a wall with a dorr/table lamp when you can save money and do your work outside the room? like in the living room or something? ugh. idiots?





i really dont know who to blame. its not our fault. how can she just blame us? we're not obliged to do ANYTHING for her yet she EXPECTS us to. ugh. fine. say all the bad stuff about us. humiliate us. backstab us! fine! but dont claim you're our fren and doing all sorta stuff for us. lemme tell ya why we cant do no nothing. her extreme popularity is the reason why we can't offend her. well. sorta. and she's got this huge boyfren with gigantic 6-packs ohkay. he's like the gangster type. ugh. nowadays when we're with her, we feel really uncomfortable and we cant wait till she leaves. evil? nope. wait till you find out the real truth. she was fine. i wonder whatsup with her now.. we used to like you a lot, y'know. you were like the sister we never had. now? you're my biggest nemesis. sorry. OUR.

10/10/2006

there's nothing to do!! *cries* i'm not gonna change my blogskin cuz i cant make up my mind.. so wtf should i do?! man the dudu's online. wtf should i say to him?

you know what.. i'm startin to think that this is all somebody's fault. just a le-eel somebodaye. yup. somebodaye.. no, i don't keep having typos. it's SOMEBODAYE. i think i'll blame that dudu. ( i say dudu so nobody can tell if i'm refering to a gal or guy.) ah well. it's not the first time that dudu did somethin like dat. i really dont know what to think. was that dudu being a nuisance on purpose? why's that dudu making me so bored on purpose?! oh sure. like i know. -_-" xue ying, i'm not 'brain' so dont call me one. back to the crapped up shit. (hey.. new word. i'll add that in my 'kim's book of amazingly ridiculous words' book) hah. so well. this dudu is like.. playing the crappy role in this. so. yeah. well the dudu says its crappy but you know what? it's not. the dudu gets to have fun! you wanna know who this dudu is? ohkay. lemme tell you. _______ yes, it's this dudu who's creating all this trouble. make this dudu's life sucky!! ahaha.. you'll never guess who it is. ooh i'm miss/mr goody goody. ooh i'm perfect. blah blah blah blah blah. ugh!!

aww man. jesse metcalfe is like HOTNESS. i wanna watch the show.. ooh ooh! wasnt brittany snow the girl who acted in the pacifer? haha. i only recognised her now. slow me.. ashanti gained weight. thats all i can say. yupps. sophia acted in onetreehill?! no wonder she looks familiar too. (= arrielle kebbel's pretty too. man, those girls are so lucky. getting to kiss such a cute guy. ugh.

sigh sigh. ashwiin is so fucked up annoying! why wont he leave me alone?! he called me 8 times, sent me 32 messages and left me voicemail. (i think.) he's like. urgh! pathetic! and he so lied to me about the aloysius thing! turns out, aloysius is qutie nice lor. pigface ashwiin. so ass-ed up..

10/09/2006

ahahahaha! i dont know why, but i feel happy. (= i guess it's cuz someone wrote me something really nice. aww. i love you. cheerin me up all the time. you just know how.. just for me. dudu.. i know you dont use the computer often.. but.. ahhh. i dont know. xD maybe it's just for me? you're like so nice and sensitive.. i just adore that. always thinking of what to make me smile. i wonder how long you take. thanks.. i wish you were mine. ahahaha.. thanks for meeting on the spot when i needed someone. i know i can count on you. =D you make me feel all warm and squishy inside. dang he looks like the singaporean version of matt damon.

enough of him. man i can blog a long long long post on how much he's helped me with that.. (ugh) ass. so.. well.. dang this ragu (a classmate of mine) keeps sending me junk. since 2 min ago, he's sent 3. -_-" sigh. chain letters! ah wells. there's a lot going on.. but i guess there's too much to say. hah.

oh wells. the literature paper was rather a letdown. especially the essay component. hello? thats like my best part? and there and then. i had a block. i dont know.. call it a brain/writer's block. it sucked. i just sat there.. tryna think. watching the people around me writing like crazy.. as if their lives depended on it. oh gosh.. if my life depended on it, i wouldnt be able to write. wait. i can write. but then and there? not well. sighhh. disapointment. deal with it, kimmaye. deal with it..

currently.. i'm changing blogskin like some people would smoke. ugh. i dont know. i take 2 hours each time looking for a skin.. just ask any of the people who're free. like amirah, shalin. thanks tons! always helping me make up my mind. wahahs i'm indecisive. xD the bold and the beautiful skin is nice.. but so's behind the beat. take a look at this! http://blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=95727&action=Preview i may be using this! dam i just love requime's skins! but.. i may be making a blogskin of my own soon. just maybe. and a picture i'll certainly use is this one! man. i cant upload pictures, man! whats blogger's problem? ah well. i'll stick with my current skin. i'll just go make the fonts bigger..

i wanted to chage my blogskin like i always do when i'm bored and have to better stuff to do, but now blogskins.com has a database problem. (a lil past 3. go check if you dont believe me) so i'm just stting here.. hoping they'll settle the problem fast. i'm bored. i should go bug some asses. stupid ashwiin's asking if i irritated somene lately. -_-" seeing he knows wendy.. i wont say no nothing. just continue let him waste his smses. man. this may not be that boring after all. he's spamming my inbox and i'm enjoying reading them. one of his messages made me laugh so much i fell off my chair. wanna know what he said?

"reply me and i'll give you $2."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! major hahas much? i'm not short on cash. and even if i were, i wouldnt reply! kukumalu.. so stupid and funny. i think i'll have another round of laughs soon. but if i fall off again, i'm gonna get him for being so dumb. ah well. he called me. something about aloysius? haha i bullied him? omg i didnt even talk to the dudu!! HAHAHAHA he's so kuku. i've never said anythin to him and he has never said anything to me. big liar. jacked! he was like.. "oh. erm. ohkay. bye." so meek and shy and everything! looks like i'm not the only one who's bored. xD

ah well. entertained me for a while. funny. laughed somemore. my classmates! hah! wanna know what the boys were described as by other people from different classes? nerdy!! ahahaha!! not surprised. they are. cept one or two. thats how pathetic it is. man, i'm prone to crushes. there's this dudu who looks like the chinese version of matt damon. he's quite cute. and very nice. though he's.. nerdy. first good dudu i ever liked. lol. good dudus are nice but bad dudus are more fun and entertaining when you're bored. do crazy stuff like throw stuff at people who walk by on the street while you're hiding behind something.. or. pretemd you're a ghost by making funny sounds while hiding in a dustbin. haha that has never been attempted. yeah well. i'm bored. so i say this. hehe. it's fun ya know. so.. good dudus? they're really nice but tend to get a lil boring after a while. too wimpy i guess. not my type. but the dudu that i like? haha he's good but he's really very funny! makes me laugh tons!! (= ahhh..

i really hate indonesia. so ass-ed up. stingy asses. getting everybody sick. ugh. sore throat. fever. sneezing. coughing. man! my class was psycho with all the sniffing and coughing and sneezing like CRAZY!! during exams. man they want to cut down so many trees is also a bad thing. hello? trees=leaves=oxygen!! why dont they understand that? idiots! i hope all the residents get burnt.. see how they like it. ugh. so selfish. if they cut the trees down. i wont say so much.. but they freaked up burnt it?! ugh!! think about the unfortunate countries around indonesia.. they get haze too! if there was a barrier that seperates indonesia and the rest of the world, i wouldnt care less. let them all die themselves.. of course. the ozone layer is like.. really really thin now? mainly cos of WHO? indonesia! why wont the stupid government put out the fire? oh.. it will cost too much blah blah blah. ugh!! only care about money!! ASS!! it's these inconsiderate selfish pigs that make our world what it is today. ohkay now i sound like a treehugger. haha. i'm just bored. i'll just go check if www.blogskins.com is ohkay. toodles!

10/06/2006

Your lips speak soft sweetness
Your touch a cool caress
I am lost in your magic
Our hearts beats as one
I think of you each morning
And dream of you each night
I think of your arms being around me
And cannot express my delight
Never have I fallen with you by my side
You hold a heart in your hands
That has never before been given away

i love you.

I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay.

i love you more.

Love is the greatest feeling,
Love is like a play,
Love is what I feel for you,
Each and every day,
Love is like a smile,
Love is like a song,
Love is a great emotion,
That keeps us going strong,
I love you with my heart,
My body and my soul,
I love the way I keep loving,
Like a love I can't control,
So remember when your eyes meet mine,
I love you with all my heart,
And I have poured my entire soul into you,
Right from the very start.

i love you so so so so so much..

I love you so deeply,
I love you so much,
I love the sound of your voice
I love your warm smile
And your kind, thoughtful way.
The joy that you bring
To my life every day.
I love you today.
As I have from the start,
And I'll love you forever,
With all of my heart.

i'll love you..

*************

Oh, Oh
I’m not missing you
Been through just about everything that I could go through
When it comes to relationships
Don’t know what I was missing or why I ain’t listen
When I told myself that was it
Now here I go, hurt again
Cause of my curiousity
Now that it’s over
What else could it be, he just had to cheat

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn’t I keep it?
Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating,
the fooling around

(But) I’m not missing you
I’m not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I’m not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because I got life to do I know
I’m usually hanging on I used to hate to see you gone
But this time it’s different I don’t even feel the distance
I’m not missing
I’m not missing you

It’s a shame in a way cause
I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me
Did I leave him, is he right in front of my face oh
Will my true love ever be?
Why would I go on a search again
When I know what the end will be
What good is love when it keeps on hurting me?

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn’t I keep it?
Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

(But) I’m not missing you
I’m not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I’m not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because I got life to do I know
I’m usually hanging on I used to hate to see you gone
But this time it’s different
I don’t even feel the distance
I’m not missing
I’m not missing you

(But) I’m not missing you
I’m not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I’m not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because I got life to do I know
I’m usually hanging on I used to hate to see you gone
But this time it’s different
I don’t even feel the distance
I’m not missing
I’m not missing you

No I can’t be with you
Cause I'm scared felt like I was falling when you left me
I can’t keep going through life
Unaware of what I missed
And the person I could be
Love's good when it’s right
And when it's left in your memory
All the times I let you down
I guess love will be nice for someone else's life

(But) I’m not missing you
I’m not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me I’m not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because I got life to do I know
I’m usually hanging on I used to hate to see you gone
(I used to hate it)
Oh different, oh feel the distance
I’m not missing
I’m not missing you
I’m not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
(knockin' at my door)
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
(it's the best day of my life)
I know I’m usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
Oh different, feel the distance
I’m not missing I’m not missing you
I'm not missing you
(oh baby)
I'm not missing you
I'm so over you
It ain't even a problem

***********

i aint poetic. i took it from http://www.lovepoemsandquotes.com/ and the lyrics? i cant remember xD i'm bored thats why i'm looking for poems and such

omigosh! he's online! i hate my life! fuck ahh!

10/05/2006

dam my computer got 'virused' by the pop ups in hin wen's blog.. dang it. so all the stuff i was gonna blog? all GONE. bye bye stuff that i blogged! urgh. havent been blogging for a lil while. my internet problem. again. sigh. so i'll start blogging from whenever. whenever i want. i mean. duh. yeah. hi, this is my blog? -_-"

sigh.. i wodner wtf i ever did to him to make him hate me so. i thought he was nice. he sent me letters. i thought he was sensitive. he was like the only one who sent letters to me? ohkay fine. he's not that only one.. but he did, right? he wanted to walk me home. (technically, he didnt know i dont live in bishan. so.. he wanted to walk me to the mrt station. fianlly, we came to a decision not to.) well. the thought counts. he smsed me like everyday..? and i kinda looked forward to them? for a reason, i guess? he was everything i wanted a dudu to be.. than it all fell apart. so i said no. wtf do you take for? huh? dont i have the right to do so? i explained it to you and its a very logical explaination. so why do you hate me now? god. get over it. it was july. now it's.. october. like 3 months? get over it! this feeling's tearing me apart. ruining my life. if he finds out, bet he'll be pleased. jerk. i mean, its not like i like him or anything. but why do i feel so.. horrible? ohkay. no, a li. impossible. nah uh. it's.. fakee. right this is getting more personal than anything. more diary-like than blogging-like now. whatever. but i gotta lay my cards on the internet. (duh. blog?)it's crazy for me to feel this way. why??? god i dont even know myself. normally if some dudu's got a problem with me, i'll be all.. "bring it bastard" but i'm.. running away. from my feelings too. shit i'm crying now.. -_-" i'm.. insane? psycho? my keyboard's gonna spoil soon. obviously, my sis'll blame me. cos it IS my fault anyways.. but wth.i'll pretend it's not. lyrics. nice ones. below.


**************

Oh no
Don't go changing
That's what you told me from the start
Thought you where something different
That's when it all just fell apart
Like you're so perfect
And I can't measure up
Well I'm not perfectJ
ust all messed up

I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I seeI don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not

It's not like I need somebody
Telling me where I should go at night
Don't worry you'll find somebody
Someone to tell how to live their lif
eCause your so perfect
And no one measures up
Yeah all by yourself
You're all messed up

I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I seeI don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not

Now wait a minute
Because of you
I never knew all the things that I had
Hey don't u get it
I'm not going anywhere with you tonight
Cause this is my life

I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
she was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not

*************

i wish i could go back in time. do the stuff i could make right. iron it out. anythin to change this freaked up disaster. catastrophe. i wish i knew why he hates me so. i wanted to say bad stuff about him like the way he did. but i cant. i dont know why. i hate my life. i thought he was different. i guess what he said made me feel.. special? i wished for something badly when we were still friends. yup. crazy. me. me. me. me.

enough depression for the year. it aint me. ohkay. a question for frens. say you have 2 good frens. and this guy you like totally hates them and wants to get back at them and he tells you this. wouldcha still talk to him? or decide who you should help? ohkay. for me.. maybe i'd talk tot he dudu. but i wouldnt decide who to help!! not that i dont believe her or anything.. but. its a natural thought that'll come to mind. if she helps him, he may like her.. so. duh? maybe she's using us as an excuse to talk to him? heh. no accusations. just questions. and thoughts. i'm totally stressing, man!!

the EOYs aint that much better. trust me to only revise on the night before the exams. urgh. pro-ness? dang it. history was psycho-y. tough like crazy. and my history's pretty good ohkay. always B or so. but it was HARD. art? total mix up. maths paper 1 was ohkay. paper 2? FAIL!! science? hard like crazy. fuck the dudu who set it lahhs. chinese.. hmm. think i may fail by 5 marks. =DD wonder why i'm happy about it... geography's on monday. one of my worst subjects. sigh. fail. literature's on tuesday. score ohkay, kimmaye? must get an A1 or A2! dont care! d&t marks the end of the EOYs. after thats the marking days.. which is councillor camp for us. dont scoff. ever.

these are cool. sexy back dance videos. learn em dudus!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjbSxDLUa2s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Wg0vwyqVac

they're totally pro. wonder how long they practised.. i'm so gonna learn it!! once again, changing blogskin.

love? whats that?